It isn't easy to talk about money, but this is why you need to.

If one conversation topic is guaranteed to cause an argument, it is about money.

Why is it so difficult?

It’s often because couples have different views on spending, financial goals, and habits. One partner might be a spender, and the other a saver, which can pressure a relationship if there is no communication. It’s one subject that always seems to get everyone on the defensive and brings out lots of emotion.  

When a conversation starts about money, we often question ourselves. Why does my partner want to talk about money? Does my partner think I’m spending too much? Why don’t we have more at the end of the month? Where does it all go? 

It’s a situation I think everyone can relate to.

The facts are that aside from infidelity, troubles with finances is the most common cause of marital problems and subsequent divorce in this country.

But despite the difficulties and challenges talking about money brings, it’s essential to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to reaching your financial goals.

But how do you start the conversation without it turning into a fight?

Talking about your dreams is a great place to start

To start, look at the bigger picture and agree with your partner to a vision of what your financial future looks like. Have an open and honest conversation and share what financial success looks like to you. Don’t judge, and don’t get bogged down in a discussion about your current finances. 

Ask yourself, what would you do if you won a million dollars? Where do you want to be in 5, 10 or 20 years time? What do you want to do when you retire? How often do you want to go on holidays? Where would you like to go? Have some fun with the questions and dare to dream. These types of conversations tend to be positive and open up your mind to the possibilities – and how you might be able to get there together.



As you begin to share these thoughts, start to notice when you have similar goals and write them down. As a couple, you are on this journey together and having completely different financial goals will be a recipe for disaster, so look for some common ground.

Identify your financial values

In life, our values guide many of our decisions. It’s the same with investing.

When you talk about your financial dreams, you begin to understand your beliefs around spending, investing, borrowing and overall money management. These are your financial values.

These values must be in sync with your financial goals and play a big part in deciding your financial plan in the future. Some questions to ask yourself are:

• What does financial success mean to you?
• What is the purpose of money in your life?
• In what ways does money bring you joy?

One of the advantages of knowing your financial values is that it helps when making important decisions. If you consider all financial decisions against these values, you are more likely to feel confident about your chosen path.

How to break the ice and start the conversation

The question now is, how do you start the conversation?

The golden rule here is, don’t start by creating a confrontation. The fact that one of you may have overspent on the credit card last month isn’t a great place to start.

Begin by talking about something positive. Maybe a long-term holiday goal from which you can broaden the topic to more longer-term planning for which you may like to seek some professional advice.

And for that, we are always here to help put you on the right path.

Author: Scott Douglas

Scott is a Director and Wealth Specialist at IMFG. From a very early age, Scott has been passionate about saving and accumulating investments and he uses that knowledge to help his clients create wealth. See his profile here

General Advice Warning

Any advice or information in this publication is of a general nature only and has not taken into account your personal objectives, financial situation and needs. Because of that, before acting on the advice, you should consider its appropriateness to you, having regard to your personal objectives, financial situation and needs.

Before making a decision to acquire a financial product, you should obtain and read the Product Disclosure Statement (PDS) relating to that product, it is important for you to consider these matters and to seek appropriate advice. Past performance is not a reliable guide to future returns. The information in this document reflects our understanding of existing legislation, proposed legislation, rulings etc as at the date of issue. In some cases, the information has been provided to us by third parties. While it is believed the information is accurate and reliable, this is not guaranteed in any way. Opinions constitute our judgement at the time of issue and are subject to change. Neither we nor our employees give any warranty of accuracy, nor accept any responsibility for errors or omissions in this document.

Identity McIntyre Pty Ltd (ASIC No 461171) is a corporate authorised representative of IMFG Pty Limited, Australian Financial Services Licensee number 527657 Registered Office at: Level 8, 171 Clarence Street, Sydney NSW 2000.